Throughout my middle school, and high school life, I was promised something more from college. A greatness, if you will. People that wish to learn, but still know how to party. A place that fosters education, and a good time.
Imagine my surprise when confronted with the truth. The people here are dumb fucks. Yeah, I said it... Dumb fucks. Overlooking that, you'd think you could still hold out hope for some serious partying. Heck, you'd think it would increase the odds of some really kick ass parties. I mean, come on, stupid people LOVE to do all things fun.
Yeah, well, apparently the idea of fun is something that has been mutilated throughout the years. I haven't seen one American that can hold his alcohol without becoming either a complete ass, and starting fights, or puking his guts out. Come on people, we're supposed to be the greatest nation in the world. How can we claim that if we can't even drink? Why are you wasting your money on drugs when you should be buying REAL ALCOHOL. What is this piss water we're trying to pass off as beer? Why are you going to clubs? Whats the point of a club, may I ask? Cover charges? This society has progressed to a point where they don't even blink when there is a cover charge for everything.
......
Yeah, a cover charge. What the hell is up with that? Why should I pay you $10, just so I can come in and dance. I'll never do that again. You won't even let me buy alcohol, you bastards.
Clearly the perfect solution would be a keg party, right? No. I've talked to people I trust.. And, at least around here, keg parties don't have enough keg in the party. You'd think with a name like, "Keg Party", there would not only be enough keg to go around, but also it would be the main theme of the party. For the privelege of going to someones house, you pay $5. You're supposed to get unlimited alcohol, but all they buy is 2 kegs. How are 2 kegs supposed to be enough for a house crammed full of people looking to drink? Even if it were enough, the lines would be astronomical. Sounds to me like a waste of time. Not to mention my earlier observations about Americans not being able to hold their alcohol... I imagine a house full of puking, sniffling, whiney little people.
This is totally worse than finding out there is no Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny.
About Me
- Gnome
- I'm an 18 year old alcoholic binge drinker. Computers are what I'm good at, I can do anything I put my mind to. AC/DC is amazing, and I'm very sexy.
4 comments:
Solution: Hold your own super-awesome Burns Keg Party. Everyone is used to a cover charge, so they won't mind that it costs them $5 to come. Or more - buy like five kegs, fill them with German imported beer, tell everyone, and charge $10 at the door. Then have drinking contests with some of them for even more money.
Everyone will like you, because you're serving them awesome beer, everyone will respect you, because you can clearly drink a shit-ton (yeah, that's how to get respect) and you will hopefully make a profit.
Ah, but where would I hold such an awesome Burns keg party? The RA's like to kick people out.. That will forever be a problem. That, and the fact I'm so poor I couldn't even begin to afford a keg. I'd have to do an "advance" cover charge.. "Oh, you're PLANNING on coming? That'll be $5"...
DUDE u are such an idiot Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny do exist.... dumb asss.
Hahahahahahaha..
Yes, they do. I forgot to mention that, in case any three year olds randomly come accross my post.
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